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Spotting Bar Girls on Dating Sites

PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 8:15 am
by admin
There are many types of woman on Asian dating sites. One type to be wary of is the bar girl, or ex- bar girl. While there's nothing wrong with a girl being a bar girl or ex-bar girl, Stickman's readers' submissions are full of stories of men having bad relationships with bar girls. It seems you can take the girl out of the bar... and all that.

Suffice to say that the things to bear in mind are: people rarely change and bar girls are far more likely to be scammers :twisted: .

So how do you spot bar girls? Here are a few ways of spotting them - if you know of any more then please add them to this thread.

  • Bar girls are more likely to be from Thailand and the Philippines. Bar girls are rare in China, and they're certainly rare on dating sites where Westerners can meet Asian women.
  • Bar girls are more likely to have tattoos, especially really large ones.
  • Bar girls often smoke - "good" Asian women rarely smoke, and those of Chinese parentage hardly ever smoke.
  • Bar girls often drink alcohol, whereas "good" Asian girls hardly ever drink, and certainly don't drink to get drunk.
  • Bar girls will often say that they're unemployed, or have a home business.
  • Ladyboys often get jobs as bar girls - while ladyboy dating is popular these days, you don't want to waste time talking to ladyboys if you're actually only interested in biological women.
  • Bar girls tend to live in the larger cities with big entertainment industries, e.g. Bangkok, Pattaya, Cebu, Manila.

Are there any more signs I've missed? Feel free to contribute to this thread.

Re: Spotting Bar Girls on Dating Sites

PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 2:12 pm
by Pattaya
I don't know much about China, how do the girls work there, are they scamming you as much as the Thai's or Philipinos? I went there on holiday (to china) the taxis didn't much care for my business don't know about hte girl situation though, anyones thoughts?

Chinese Scammer Girls

PostPosted: Sat Mar 30, 2013 2:30 am
by admin
Hi Pattaya,

There are plenty of scammers in China. However, they tend to hang around tourist hotspots. In Shanghai it was Nanjing Road, and in Guangzhou it's Beijing Lu.

I got really sick of the attention being a foreigner brought on me in Beijing Lu, so if I want to be seen out and about in a fashionable street I head for Changshau Lu. There are rarely foreigners in this street. Plus the store prices are better!!!

Expat bars are another place to be careful of in China. Well if you're gonna chat to girls in bars, then you'll have to be careful anyway.

As far as online dating goes, Chinese scammers are actually quite rare. Just take sensible precautions like not talking to girls who don't have photos, and of course don't send money to girls. Generally speaking no Chinese women on dating sites are poor, so they don't need our money.

Finally Chinese taxi drivers are a pain in the ass sometimes. They're really picky about their rides. But if you do take a cab here then make sure the driver doesn't turn the meter off. And always use official taxis, not a guy in a battered old Renault.

Re: Spotting Bar Girls on Dating Sites

PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 3:58 am
by GMan
Quick question why do the ladies always wanna to switch yahoo messenger? Is that part of the scam?

Re: Spotting Bar Girls on Dating Sites

PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 4:01 am
by admin
GMan wrote:Quick question why do the ladies always wanna to switch yahoo messenger? Is that part of the scam?

Some ladies will chat to you on Yahoo then suggest you chat on another more expensive dating site. Beware of those.

Also scammers like to chat to you on other sites so that the anti-fraud measures Chinese Love Links and other sites use don't catch them out.

If you're talking to a new lady it's best to exchange 3-4 emails through a dating site's own email facility first.

Also be particularly careful with new members of dating sites :| .

If you're interested in Chinese ladies then most will have QQ. You can get an English version of QQ (QQ International), it's like MSN for Chinese people.

Also Skype is also OK, many ladies in Asia have Skype.

Don't send money to anyone. Hell I never take gifts for my dates, but that doesn't put them off wanting to see me again!

Re: Spotting Bar Girls on Dating Sites

PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 8:21 am
by Felix
Pay attention to time zones as well. Ladies who are using dating sites at 3-4am their local time might not be such good ladies to get into a long term relationship.

Re: Spotting Bar Girls on Dating Sites

PostPosted: Sun Aug 11, 2013 2:36 am
by Felix
Many guys are interested in finding out how to tell the good girls from the bad girls on a dating site.

On Thai Love Links, here's a gold plated sign of a bad girl:


The clues are ringed in red.

Clue 1: She says she's a good girl. It's funny but after four years of using online Asian personals sites, I'm starting to realise that people are the exact opposites of anything they write. So anyone says they're a good girl, yeah, they're a BAD girl. Another word I like to look for is honest.

Oh, and needless to say, if a woman says she wants a good guy, yeah, she's REALLY looking for a bad dude.

Clue 2: She has a tattoo. Well in all my time living in Bangkok, I've never seen a good girl with a tattoo. Particular bad signs are women who have back/shoulder tattoos, or tattoos on their tits (huge red flag this one).

Clue 3: She drinks. Good Asian girls never drink alcohol.

As to whether you want to date a good girl or a bad girl, well the good girls can be just as much of a nuisance to your life as the bad girls. But at least when you date a bad girl you're kind of expecting something bad to happen :twisted: .

Bar Girls on Dating Sites - Avoid

PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:17 am
by admin
I've now spent over 4 months in Bangkok, and I've dated and met a lot of bar and non-bar girls.

So are bar girls to be avoided, or is there more to this story?

While up in the vast new immigration complex in Northern Bangkok last week I saw a number of farangs who were obviously married to ex-bar girls. They seemed to be happy couples. In fact a few actually had kids. So IT CAN WORK.

But it's a risk.

I've met quite a few bar girls lately. Living here rather than being on vacation I can see them when they're "off duty" so to speak and also get to find out about their lives.

While bar girls are often really great, many of them have an alarming ability to waste money. If I was looking for a wife then that's a huge red flag in my eyes. Not all are like that - and if you are interested in marry a girl you meet in a bar, then it's often safer to marry one who's new to the job so to speak. But really being good or bad with money is more of a thing you seem to be born with, or develop when you're very young. I don't think working in a bar makes girls bad with money, I think that girls who have no money sense are just far more likely to have to resort to making a quick buck from a foreigner.

I have one more tip for you. Don't meet any girl who posts big boob shots on a site like Thai Love Links. I can honestly say that fake boob women are the nastiest women I have ever had the misfortune to chat to. If you value your sanity then avoid at all costs :twisted: . But if you do find a decent girl with fake boobs, then feel free to correct me on this :lol: .

Maybe I need to make an exception for ladyboys. But pretty much all fake boobed ladyboys on TLL are hookers.

Are Bar Girls so bad after all?

PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 10:10 am
by Felix
Stickman made some interesting observations about the whole Western guy marrying Thai bar lady thing. It's worth a read (find it just after the Am Bar mini-review)...

In the old days it sounds as if there were way more foreign dudes marrying bar girls than there are these days.

Stickman reckons the Internet has made it much easier for guys to meet ladies who don't work in bars. Office ladies for example are much easier to meet online, as are ladies who live in the distant outskirts of Bangkok, or in smaller cities in Thailand.

Are bar girls still to be avoided?

A weekend visit to Pattaya has confused my thinking somewhat. But then it's not really a black/white issue.

I went in three bars in Pattaya, and observed the girls' behaviour. I really like one girl, but it's clear that she kind of just scans the room looking for guys who have a few hundred baht going spare.

But in two other bars girls sat with me and there was no pouting and asking for lady drinks. In fact in one bar a girl sat with me for over half an hour. She didn't want anything from me. I was impressed.

If you must marry a bar girl, then look for those who will hang around with you and not demand anything.

Actually that's probably wise advice for dating ANY women, whether she works in a bar or not :lol: .

New Thai Bar Girl Detector Tool

PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2013 11:00 pm
by admin
If you're worried that you're talking to a bar girl, then check out our new bargirl detector:

It mainly applies to Thai girls, but you might find some use out of it if you're interested in Filipinas as well.

Is there anything wrong with bar girls? Not necessarily. I don't subscribe to the "good" vs "bad" girl theory. Girls often start work in Thailand's many beer bars and other establishments out of economic necessity. However, many ladies find themselves in such economic necessity due to problems in their life.

One of the bar ladies I met while I was living in Bangkok was a great lady, and good fun to be with. However, her purse was in a permanent state of not having any money in it, due in no small part to her problem with alcoholism :? .

So, by all means chat to and even date bar ladies. But just go into the relationship with your eyes wide open :shock: .